War of the Words: How to Battle your Inner Voice and Win
Most of us have an inner voice which niggles away at us on a daily basis, puts doubt in our minds, or tells us we're not good enough. And that can have a real impact on how we feel, and how we deal with every day life.
But what if “positive thinking” and relentless optimism are part of the problem, not the solution? Writer Oliver Burkeman argues that controlling the inner voice that’s controlling you isn’t just about arguing back with a more positive version of the voice itself, or telling it to shut up – it’s about making small changes to the language we use when we “talk” to ourselves.
Switch I CAN’T for I DON’T
Think about something you’ve been wanting to do for ages, maybe a bad habit you need to ditch. Switch your language from I can’t eat chocolate this week to the much more affirmative I don’t eat chocolate this week. Saying I don’t makes it feel like a positive choice you have made, rather than an act of denying yourself something.
Replace I HOPE with I WONDER….
I hope I can stick to my diet sounds optimistic but it also has connotations of a negative outcome if you don’t achieve the one thing you are “hoping” for. Whereas I wonder if I can stick to my diet? is more open ended, and doesn’t tie you down to only one favourable outcome.
Why not try it for yourself this week? Making tiny changes to the language you use can make a huge difference to your thoughts and emotions, and can help transform your mood.
Oliver Burkeman is a writer for The Guardian based in Brooklyn, New York and the author of “The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking”.